Have you been phubbed lately? “Phubbing" — a mix of “phone” and “snubbing”— is when someone pays more attention to their smartphone than they do to the people with whom they are face to face. Not surprisingly, research has shown that phubbing has a negative impact on relationship satisfaction and can lead to increased conflict. This is especially true with married couples. The good news is that researchers have also determined that effective communication skills can mitigate the impact of phubbing. Those skills include:
We cannot turn back the clock on technology, but phubbing should be seen as a problem. Addressing it by prioritizing face-to-face time and spending that time engaged in positive communication can help contain the potential damage. Have you been phubbed lately? How did it make you feel, and what did you do? To join the conversation, click "comments" above. Learn more about creating a habit around masterful communication with our online learning courses awarded International Gold for Best Hybrid Learning of 2022.
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Research suggests we undervalue the bonding and enjoyment we get from hearing someone's voice. We've all had the urge to reach out to someone -- perhaps someone we haven't communicated with in awhile and wondered whether texting, emailing, or calling would be best. A study reported on in the Greater Good journal suggests that there are reasons to pick up the phone and say hello. In the study, participants predicted how awkward or enjovable it would be to have a conversation with a friend they hadn't been in touch with for at least two years, and how close they'd feel if they connected by phone versus email or text. They also reported which medium they'd prefer to use. The results showed that, although most people anticipated talking by phone would be more uncomfortable for them, those who spoke on the phone were happier with the exchange and felt closer to the other person. "We think it's going to be awkward to talk to somebody, but that turns out not to be the case," says lead author Amit Kumar. "Instead people form significantly stronger bonds when they re talking on the phone than when communicating over email or text." Kumar continued, "There are linguistic cues that come through someone's voice that suggest a feeling and thinking mind. And since connecting with somebody means getting a little closer to their mind, voice-based communication makes that easier or more likely.' When is the last time you reached out to a person you hadn't connected with in a while, and what medium did you use? To join the conversation, click on "comments" above. Learn more about creating a habit around masterful communication with our online learning courses awarded International Gold for Best Hybrid Learning of 2022. Actions are things we do — perhaps only once in a while — but identities are who we are. So by using identities to describe ourselves, we can influence how others see us (e.g. as a runner, versus someone who sometimes runs). Through this technique of adding “er” to words, we can also motivate others to perform better (e.g. “You are project leader” versus “I want you to lead this project.”) So say Jonah Berger, author of Magic Words: What to Say to Get Your Way, and his co-researcher Dan Pink. When children were asked “Can you be a helper in clean up?” versus “Can you help clean up?”, participation in that activity shot upward. When people were asked if they were voters, versus whether or not they would vote, many more were enthusiastic about voting. With any pursuit, in time you become the thing you are learning to do. But you can speed that learning curve along – for yourself and for others – by using descriptors that have to do with being rather than doing. Try it: You may well find it will require far less willpower for you and others to reach goals when you choose to embody the goal itself! What are some of your “er” identities, and what are those of the people you lead? How can you use these to influence behavior? To join the conversation, click "comments" above. Learn more about creating a habit around masterful communication with our online learning courses awarded International Gold for Best Hybrid Learning of 2022. Job interviews can be stressful, but being prepared will not only ease your anxiety but also set you apart from the competition. It almost goes without saying that you should research the company and, if possible, the interviewer, as well as updating your LinkedIn profile. But, writing in Forbes, Jack Kelly, founder and CEO of WeCruitr, offers some additional strategies for once you are in the room (or on the video screen):
How did your last job interview go, and can you share any advice? To join the conversation, click "comments" above. Learn more about creating a habit around masterful communication with our online learning courses awarded International Gold for Best Hybrid Learning of 2022. It may feel momentarily satisfying to complain, vent and kvetch, but research shows these behaviors don't actually help. According to a Stanford University study, 30 minutes of complaining physically damages the hippocampus -- the part of your brain critical to learning, memory, and problem solving -- by peeling back layers of neurons. Unfortunately, that happens whether you're on the giving or receiving end of the venting. Offering a friend a shoulder to cry on may well bring you down rather than cheer your friend up. Even if you set aside the long-term physiological impact, complaining won't even make you feel better in the moment. A study published in the European Journal of Work and Organizational Psychology found that complaining actually makes you feel worse, both in the moment and for days after. That's because negative emotions are more contagious than positive ones. Moreover, co-ruminating with a friend or colleague won't blow off steam, but rather cement the incident in their mind. But how can you avoid co-ruminating with a friend or colleague? Shift into problem-solving mode! Listen carefully, understand what happened and ask, “What can be done about it?” That's the kind of proactive conversation that will be truly helpful. Has someone vented to you lately and did you proactively handle the situation? To join the conversation, click "comments" above. Learn more about creating a habit around masterful communication with our online learning courses awarded International Gold for Best Hybrid Learning of 2022. Everyday anxiety is something we all experience from time to time. But new research suggests there is a simple way to mitigate it: perform a small act of kindness. How can paying for a stranger’s bagel or taking in your neighbor’s trash reduce anxiety? Researchers at Ohio State University conducted a head-to-head test of anti-anxiety interventions. Over five weeks, volunteers were asked to do one of three things a few times each week: plan an enjoyable social activity, write about their challenging thoughts, or perform random acts of kindness. After the experiment, all three groups felt less depressed and anxious. But the group that benefited the most, and that showed a higher level of satisfaction with life overall, was the group that deliberately acted kindly. Writing in Inc., contributing editor Jessica Stillman points out the many advantages of this approach to anxiety management for busy managers and entrepreneurs. For one thing, it is easily put into action (no waiting for a therapist’s appointment or an opportunity to meditate alone). You can compliment a co-worker or offer someone your seat on public transportation easily. Kindness can also have a ripple effect. Doing something nice for someone might well inspire them to “pay it forward” and enhance your entire workplace or community. When was the last time you performed a random act of kindness and how did it affect your mood? To join the conversation, click "comments" above. Learn more about creating a habit around masterful communication with our online learning courses awarded International Gold for Best Hybrid Learning of 2022.
Giving, receiving or even witnessing gratitude has significant benefits. Numerous studies have found that having a grateful outlook, “counting one’s blessings” and expressing gratitude to others can have positive effects on our emotional health as well as on our relationships. Apparently, gratitude is the gift that keeps on giving. It has been shown to reduce anxiety and depression, improve sleep, and even generate physical benefits such as lower blood pressure. Now it turns out that even being an observer of a gratitude episode can be beneficial. Watching an act of gratitude between two people can cause an observer to feel more warmth and affinity toward them both. The studies on gratitude don’t indicate how often we ought to express gratitude or how best to put it into practice. One suggestion is to be specific when expressing gratitude: Instead of just saying “thank you,” say what you are thankful for, and why. Many experts believe that a small dose of gratitude, once a day, is enough to have a positive impact. To develop an enduring gratitude habit, try linking your gratitude practice to an already ingrained routine or do it at a specific time, such as first thing in the morning. When is the last time you gave, received or witnessed gratitude and how did you feel afterward? To join the conversation, click "comments" above. Learn more about creating a habit around masterful communication with our online learning courses awarded International Gold for Best Hybrid Learning of 2022. A new study demonstrates a startlingly simple way to boost your wellness and your happiness: Once a day, have a face-to-face conversation with someone. Building close friendships takes time and effort. Although the rewards of such friendships are great, you can contribute to your sense of connection, belonging and happiness with less. Just a single, amiable daily conversation with a friend or teammate can make a difference, according to this University of Kansas study. These conversations do not need to consist of soul-searching or deep revelations. Just a quick catch-up will do. A few guidelines:
Do you have daily conversations with a friend or colleague, and do you notice a difference in your mood afterward? To join the conversation, click "comments" above. Learn more about creating a habit around masterful communication with our online learning courses awarded International Gold for Best Hybrid Learning of 2022. Are you able to have productive conversations with irritable, defensive people or those who profoundly disagree with you? Since this is an incredibly valuable skill for any leader to master, there’s plenty of advice out there. But remembering those tips is hard in the middle of a potentially volatile discussion. To assist in such situations, Harvard conflict management expert Julia Minson offers a simple mnemonic device. Next time you find yourself in a challenging, uncomfortable conversation, remember the acronym H.E.A.R.
No acronym is a cure-all. Still, research shows that learning and deploying the H.E.A.R. approach is worth the effort, if you want to be a person that people want to talk to. Which of the H.E.A.R principles have you used lately? Did it defuse a touchy interaction? To join the conversation, click "comments" above. Learn more about creating a habit around masterful communication with our online learning courses awarded International Gold for Best Hybrid Learning of 2022. Have you performed a random act of kindness lately? In a study published in the Journal d Experimental Psychology, researchers found that when you perform a random act of kindness it’s easy to underestimate how much the recipient will appreciate it. And that miscalculation holds many of us back from doing nice things for others more often. We know that kindness can boost well-being, writes New York Times reporter Catherine Pearson. But researchers who study the subject hope these new findings will strengthen the scientific case for making these types of gestures more often. “I have found that kindness can be a really hard sell,” said Tara Cousineau, a clinical psychologist, meditation teacher and author of The Kindness Cure: How The Science of Compassion Can Heal Your Heart and Your World. "People desire kindness yet often feel inconvenienced by the thought of being kind.” On the other hand, even the smallest gestures do get noticed. So if you are not already in the habit of performing random kind acts — or they do not come naturally to you — begin by telling people what you appreciate about them. Also consider what you like to do, what skills and talents you have, and how you might turn those into small offerings for other people. How did you feel the last time you performed a small act of kindness, and how did you feel the last time someone did this for you? To join the conversation, click "comments" above. Learn more about creating a habit around masterful communication with our online learning courses awarded International Gold for Best Hybrid Learning of 2022. Disagreements don’t have to be destructive. In fact, they often present hidden gems for you to innovate and grow. Writing in the Harvard Business Review, Francesca Gino and Hanne K Collins of the Harvard School of Business, and Charles Dorison of Georgetown University’s McDonough School of Business, offer several evidence-based strategies to make disagreements productive:
Learn more about creating a habit around masterful communication with our online learning courses awarded International Gold for Best Hybrid Learning of 2022. Research shows that it can be less stressful to talk to someone when you’re walking side by side, with minimal eye contact, than conversing face to face. “When walking next to someone, a conversation becomes parallel play, with each person looking ahead yet connected by the exchange,” said Esther Perel, a couples therapist, author, and host of the podcast Where Should We Begin? To help people get the most from their walk-and-talk, New York Times reporter Jancee Dunn asked for some tips from Perel and Priya Parker, author of The Art of Gathering: How We Meet and Why It Matters. Here’s what Dunn learned:
When was the last time you had a productive talk on a walk? Do you think it went better than if you were sitting face to face? Things to think about over the holiday and get ready to try them tomorrow back at work! To join the conversation, click "comments" above. Learn more about creating a habit around masterful communication with our online learning courses awarded International Gold for Best Hybrid Learning of 2022. Many leaders think they are successful at coaching, but in reality lots of them are simply telling their employees what to do. Writing in The Harvard Business Review leadership researchers and consultants Julia and Trenton Milner point out that actual coaching unlocks an individual’s potential. Recently the authors undertook a study that showed how rare master coaching really is. But the good news, they say, is that most mangers can learn to be good coaches in a relatively short period of time. When first asked to coach, most managers tend to give advice or offer a solution. But this is actually more micromanaging than coaching. Happily, they become better coaches quickly by employing these skills:
In the ongoing study, the skills managers struggled with the most were identifying strengths as well as letting coaches arrive at their own solutions. Clearly, Coach Training must address these skills by changing mindsets and offering a safe space in which to practice and discuss personal challenges. What do you find is your biggest personal challenge when it comes to coaching? To join the conversation, click on "comments" above. Learn more about creating a habit around masterful communication with our online learning courses awarded International Gold for Best Hybrid Learning of 2022. People often look to Warren Buffet for investment tips. So we took note when Buffet claimed that often the best investment you can make is in your ability to communicate. Buffett has stated that investing in developing your communication skills can "improve your value by 50 percent." Buffett says, "If you can't communicate…nothing happens. You can have all the brainpower in the world, but you have to be able to transmit it. And the transmission is communication." Writing in Inc., contributing editor Marcel Schwantes offers these tips for heeding Buffet’s words:
Do you agree that improving your communication skills has upped your personal value? To join the conversation, click on "comments" above. Learn more about creating a habit around masterful communication with our online learning courses awarded International Gold for Best Hybrid Learning of 2022. Do you think you’re a good listener? Most of us probably rate ourselves as “above average” in this area (a mathematical impossibility). Most people think effective listening consists of not interrupting, letting others know you are listening (uh-huh, mmm-hmm) and being able to repeat back what others have said. However, new research, conducted by Jack Zenger and Joseph Folkman of the Zenger/Folkman Leadership Development Group, suggests that these behaviors fall far short of describing good listening skills. Their four main findings:
Not every conversation requires the highest levels of listening, but many conversations would benefit from greater focus and from the intention to listen interactively. When you are a listener, do you engage in these practices, and when you are a speaker, would you appreciate them? To join the conversation, click "comments" on above. Learn more about creating a habit around masterful communication with our online learning programs. |
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